K Wong (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lilbuzzbee) wrote,@ 2009-05-07 19:38:00 |
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I’ve been taking a bit of a hiatus from blogging. At times, blogging is helpful because it allows me to express myself. Sometimes it’s frustrating because I don’t know how to express myself. And sometimes, I just don’t want to express myself. I want to understand myself, so I journal, but I don’t necessarily need to post those thoughts to the world.
The past two and a half months have been a bit of a whirlwind. They’ve been emotional, tiring months, but more so than any other spring? I’m not sure. I’m at one of those points where I just can’t remember. I keep thinking to myself, “Am I always so ready for the school year to end in May?” I remember that my first year, I felt like I was totally spent by March. I had a conversation with Felix and he said he thought that my stamina would increase a bit every year. That the next year, I’d be fully invested until April. I thought about it my second year of teaching when April rolled around. He was right. I haven’t thought about it much since then, until now. I wonder if it’s because I have a lot of new responsibilities this year. It’s easier to think that it’s just that than that teaching just no longer appeals to me and that it’s time to move on.
26 is gone and on to 27…while 27 has some interesting properties, the best being that it’s 3 cubed and the last number-to-its-own-power that I’ll hit, I think I’m still mourning 26. Growing up, I always thought that 26 would be THE landmark year. The get married and start life as a stay-at-home mom phase. When I got older and that seemed less likely, that dream was pushed into a corner to make way for other dreams: visions of teaching in a city or doing development work abroad. And yet those dreams haven’t come to fruition either. When I’m being dramatic, I think of Anne saying, “My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.” When I’m not being dramatic, I think again about the following that I wrote about in my last post. So my life has taken some twists and turns. It’s never been the way that I thought that it would be. Interesting, because I’m a planner and I like to think ahead and can often anticipate what will happen in the short-term, but long-term plans rarely work out the way that I think that they will. Perhaps it’s not so surprising in that know-it-all me often needs reminders to seek the wisdom and guidance of “God only wise.”
Some highlights of the past few months…the flower show, talking with Dave before his sabbatical, birthday festivities, Felix and Jess’s wedding, the cross-country road trip, specifically Seattle and Chicago food and friends and Zion National Park, Ethiopian food, Bible studies, long phone conversations with friends far away, the twins visiting and subsequent decision to come to Penn Engineering, meals with church folk, seeing Katelyn, visits with my mom, breakfasts with my sister, planting flowers, RBH’s, laughing.
I’ve been taking a bit of a hiatus from blogging. At times, blogging is helpful because it allows me to express myself. Sometimes it’s frustrating because I don’t know how to express myself. And sometimes, I just don’t want to express myself. I want to understand myself, so I journal, but I don’t necessarily need to post those thoughts to the world.
The past two and a half months have been a bit of a whirlwind. They’ve been emotional, tiring months, but more so than any other spring? I’m not sure. I’m at one of those points where I just can’t remember. I keep thinking to myself, “Am I always so ready for the school year to end in May?” I remember that my first year, I felt like I was totally spent by March. I had a conversation with Felix and he said he thought that my stamina would increase a bit every year. That the next year, I’d be fully invested until April. I thought about it my second year of teaching when April rolled around. He was right. I haven’t thought about it much since then, until now. I wonder if it’s because I have a lot of new responsibilities this year. It’s easier to think that it’s just that than that teaching just no longer appeals to me and that it’s time to move on.
26 is gone and on to 27…while 27 has some interesting properties, the best being that it’s 3 cubed and the last number-to-its-own-power that I’ll hit, I think I’m still mourning 26. Growing up, I always thought that 26 would be THE landmark year. The get married and start life as a stay-at-home mom phase. When I got older and that seemed less likely, that dream was pushed into a corner to make way for other dreams: visions of teaching in a city or doing development work abroad. And yet those dreams haven’t come to fruition either. When I’m being dramatic, I think of Anne saying, “My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.” When I’m not being dramatic, I think again about the following that I wrote about in my last post. So my life has taken some twists and turns. It’s never been the way that I thought that it would be. Interesting, because I’m a planner and I like to think ahead and can often anticipate what will happen in the short-term, but long-term plans rarely work out the way that I think that they will. Perhaps it’s not so surprising in that know-it-all me often needs reminders to seek the wisdom and guidance of “God only wise.”
Some highlights of the past few months…the flower show, talking with Dave before his sabbatical, birthday festivities, Felix and Jess’s wedding, the cross-country road trip, specifically Seattle and Chicago food and friends and Zion National Park, Ethiopian food, Bible studies, long phone conversations with friends far away, the twins visiting and subsequent decision to come to Penn Engineering, meals with church folk, seeing Katelyn, visits with my mom, breakfasts with my sister, planting flowers, RBH’s, laughing.
